St. Mary's Visitation Parish :

Please keep these pages of information for your use in making your marriage plans. We urge you to not make any decisions or commitments about your marriage celebration before meeting with one of the priests or deacons of the parish.

Congratulations! We're delighted that you are planning on having St. Mary's Parish help you celebrate the Sacrament of Matrimony. It's a wonderful vocation and the parish stands ready to support you through all the circumstances and events you encounter. The reception of the Sacrament is also one of the significant acts of worship in the church, and together we can plan to insure its proper understanding and preparation.

Our experience has taught us that the time between now and the early days of your married life can be extremely important - even critical. There is a lot that we can do together that will significantly improve your understanding of the sacrament as well as your relationship with each other. The process is important, and we expect you to follow our program unless there are extenuating circumstances. After we have a mutual understanding, we can then establish a wedding date and time.

We have developed the following three basic stages for marriage preparation:

In the first stage, you will meet one or more times with a parish priest or deacon to accomplish the following:

Next, you will meet with the Sponsor Couple over a period of weeks for the following:

Finally, the priest or deacon who will preside at your wedding will then take you through the final steps:

For those who are baptized, Matrimony is a Sacrament , and its sacredness should be the guiding principle for everything on your wedding day.

Thank you for your consideration. We look forward to this time of preparation with you.

It should be a blessed and uplifting experience, and we want to help you reach that goal.



	Home > About Marriage Preparation Process Information for Engaged Couples Please keep these pages of information for your use in making your marriage plans. We urge you to not make any decisions or commitments about your marriage celebration before meeting with one of the priests or deacons of the parish. WELCOME Congratulations! We're delighted that you are planning on having St. Mary's Parish help you celebrate the Sacrament of Matrimony. It's a wonderful vocation and the parish stands ready to support you through all the circumstances and events you encounter. The reception of the Sacrament is also one of the significant acts of worship in the church, and together we can plan to insure its proper understanding and preparation. THE PROCESS Our experience has taught us that the time between now and the early days of your married life can be extremely important - even critical. There is a lot that we can do together that will significantly improve your understanding of the sacrament as well as your relationship with each other. The process is important, and we expect you to follow our program unless there are extenuating circumstances. After we have a mutual understanding, we can then establish a wedding date and time. We have developed the following three basic stages for marriage preparation: In the first stage, you will meet one or more times with a parish priest or deacon to accomplish the following: Explain the WISCONSIN PASTORAL GUIDELINES FOR MARRIAGE PREPARATION. Outline our parish policy for marriage preparation and obtain commitment Complete the application papers and arrange for the necessary baptismal and other required documents. Receive instructions and discuss the theology, life and purpose of marriage. A Sponsor Couple will be assigned to you by Deacon Chuck Kustner. Explain the Enrichment Day program. Establish the wedding date, time, and the type of ceremony that will be celebrated. (Wedding times are Saturday at 12noon and 2:30pm. Any other days/times must be approved by the presider). Contact the Liturgy & Music Director to set an appointment. Next, you will meet with the Sponsor Couple over a period of weeks for the following: Complete the FOCCUS questionnaire. Schedule the Enrichment Day. Receive further instructions and discuss the theology, life and purpose of marriage. Review the results of the FOCCUS questionnaire. Finally, the priest or deacon who will preside at your wedding will then take you through the final steps: Liturgical planning for the wedding Wedding rehearsal The witnessing of the Sacrament of Matrimony For those who are baptized, Matrimony is a Sacrament , and its sacredness should be the guiding principle for everything on your wedding day. Completion and/or collection of the following documents are required , at least 6 weeks prior to your wedding : Questionnaire for the bride and groom, to be completed under oath, in the presence of the priest/deacon. A copy of your Baptismal record . For Catholics, this must have been issued within the past 6 months. Certificate of Confirmation - Catholics only. (Separate certificate required only if Confirmation not recorded on Baptismal Certificate.) Testimony of two persons (for both bride and groom) who are qualified to certify your freedom to marry . They may be relatives or friends who have known you well since you were of marrying age. They need not be Catholic. Parents are, obviously, ideal witnesses for this testimony. Other documents which may be necessary for the marriage because of special circumstances, such as a previous marriage by one or both of the partners. Please consult the parish priest or deacon to determine this. If both parties are Catholic, Banns of Marriage will be published at St. Mary's. We ask you to observe the following guidelines for your wedding: PRESIDER AND FORM OF MARRIAGE CEREMONY: Presiders at weddings here at St. Mary's are the parish priests and deacons. When planning the wedding a couple is welcome to request a specific priest or deacon, and we will do our best to accommodate this request. It may not always be possible to fulfill a request because of the schedule of a specific priest or deacon and in that case, as in the case of all other weddings, a priest or deacon will be assigned to preside at the wedding. Typically, the marriage ceremony of two Catholics who regularly participate in Sunday Mass would include the celebration of the Eucharist. This, however, does not have to be the case. Engaged couples have the option to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage with only a liturgy of the Word. At times those present for a wedding with Mass do not participate well, because it is an inter-faith marriage, or many of those attending are not practicing Catholics or are Christians from another denomination. On these occasions, what should be the greatest symbol of our unity, reception of Communion, instead becomes a sign of our separateness. See the attached article by Fr. Paul Turner. Weddings without Mass still celebrate the presence of Christ: in the gathered assembly, in his holy Word, in the person of the minister, and particularly in the wedding liturgy through the couple who minister the Lord's presence to each other in the sharing of their sacred vows. Normally all weddings at St. Mary's are witnessed with the parish priests or deacons as presiders. With the permission of the pastor it is possible for another priest or deacon who is a relative of either the bride or groom to preside. No other priest or deacon may preside at a wedding at St. Mary's without the delegation of the Pastor. Other priests and deacons are welcome to participate in the wedding liturgy and, in the case of the celebration of the Eucharist, a priest may concelebrate. The couple should discuss this with the presider before extending any invitations to other priests or deacons. In the case of an inter-faith marriage, the party who is not Catholic may invite her or his minister to attend the marriage ceremony in the Catholic Church. The minister may participate in the ceremony with words of good wishes, prayers or blessings. The minister may not be the witness for the exchange of consent. As long as the Eucharist is not celebrated the minister may also read from the Scriptures and/or preach. Also in a case of an inter-faith marriage, and for serious reasons, the Catholic party may receive a dispensation from the canonical form of the Roman Catholic marriage and marry in the church or chapel of another church denomination. A Catholic priest may be present for this ceremony. All marriages are to be celebrated and witnessed in a parish church. Marriages are not permitted in hotels or outside. It is possible to be married in a non-parish chapel but only with proper dispensation from the Archbishop. In all these circumstances a couple should consult with their parish priest. MUSIC: To plan the music for your wedding, please consult the Liturgy and Music Director, Sr. Mary Jane Wagner (262-782-4485) who must oversee and approve all aspects of music for your church celebration. No arrangements for musicians/music may be made before meeting with Sr. Mary Jane and receiving her approval. Our organist, Sr. Mary Jane, and one of our parish cantors are the regular music ministers for weddings. All music chosen will be in accordance with the wedding guidelines of the Archdiocese of Milwaukee and other pastoral church documents. WEDDING TIMES: All weddings will be scheduled at either noon or 2:30PM on Saturdays. No other times are allowed. Friday weddings can be scheduled according to the decision of the priest or deacon and the couple. For a noon wedding, the church may be prepared anytime after 11:00AM and everyone must be out of church by 1:30PM. For a 2:30PM wedding, the church may be prepared anytime after 1:30PM and everyone must be out of church by 4:00PM. FLOWERS, RUNNERS and DECORATIONS: You should make your own arrangements with a florist. You may want to share floral decorations and expenses with other couples being married on the same day. Please let the celebrant know in advance if you would be willing to leave your flowers for altar use. If a runner is used, the center aisle length is 108 feet in the church proper - 124 feet through the vestibule. The runner may not be attached to the floor with tape and may not be attached to the rug at all. The runner may only be attached by pins to the pad under the oriental rug. At no time, may tape be attached to the floor of the church. It is the responsibility of your ushers to see that the runner is removed immediately after the ceremony. Structures of any sort, such as arches, trellises, or any other decorations which draw attention away from the altar are discouraged and must have prior approval by the parish priest/deacon. Nothing may be attached to the pews which would damage them. No tape may ever be used on wood pews. Do not decorate the pews in any manner that impedes the entering or exiting of guests to the center aisle. The ushers are also asked to see that the church has been cleared of all wedding debris. PHOTOGRAPHS: Taking pictures in the church is permitted. Instruct your photographer to consult with the priest/deacon as to what is proper. Videotaping is permitted from the choir loft where an audio jack is available for direct sound connection. If you plan on having pictures taken in the church after your wedding ceremony, please do not have a reception line at the church! It's important that pictures in the church be taken immediately after the wedding, and timing doesn't permit both picture taking and a receiving line. Courtesy requires accommodating other scheduled uses of the church. Please refer to the time frame above (section c). TIME: PLEASE be prepared to begin the ceremony on time. We'd rather not have to mention it, but it's important. STIPEND: The minimal suggested stipend (or offering) to the priest or deacon is $100.00. A small offering of $10.00 for each Mass server is customary and appreciated. Offerings for the organist or other musicians should be arranged directly with the musicians involved. The Marriage License must be brought to the officiating priest/deacon no later than the wedding rehearsal (the day before the marriage). Application must be made with the County Clerk at least 5 days before the license will be issued. The license is valid for 30 days after it's issued. SIGNING OF LICENSE: Arrangements must be made to sign the marriage certificate with the officiating priest/deacon. It requires the signatures of the bride and groom and the two principal witnesses. Wisconsin law requires that witnesses must be 18 years old. At least one of the witnesses should be a practicing Catholic. Please inform your guests that rice is not to be thrown (or bird seed, etc.) in the Church or on church property. There are facilities available below the vestibule for changing clothes, but these should NOT be considered secure. Please do not leave purses or other valuables unattended in the lower vestibule or elsewhere where they might be stolen. Please use the attached card to inform the parish office where you will be living after your wedding. If you will be living in another parish, please be sure to register at your new parish. For further information, please contact the following: Officiating priest or deacon: 262-782-4575 Liturgy and Music Office: 262-782-4485 Thank you for your consideration. We look forward to this time of preparation with you. It should be a blessed and uplifting experience, and we want to help you reach that goal.